Monday, August 25, 2014

Update: Fallen Crest

Sorry about the double post. I uh... hmm... I don't know that I should be apologizing. It just feels wrong... maybe that's me.

So... we held out maybe another three hours before everyone started to lose their shit?

We've been bunkered down in a rather small room. Which has been fine in the past but the situation was so tense. Normally Nat and Navi might spar or otherwise beat the shit out of each other to kill time but we were pretty nervous of whether or not this shit was legit or not.

Devil brought us some food but... I was the only one who ate. It got really bad. The girls were both getting really fucking fidgety and impatient. I was a little scared they might rip their own hair out at the rate we were going.

I decided it couldn't wait any longer when Nat started stomping around the room complaining about how much bullshit this was. So I decided to try calling Fracture.

I got out my phone and let everyone else know what I was doing. They clamored around me... and we all awkwardly held hands... for luck or something. Maybe to just share the burden of the tension. I remember someone telling me that touch is a comforting sensation but I'm pretty sure that's wrong. That kind of thinking really opens you up for a surprise assault.

So I called Fracture. It rang for what felt like forever.

To my surprise he actually answered. I was honestly just trying to call to give everyone something to distract themselves with, but here Fracture was answering his phone.

I cranked my phone up and held it a way from my ear a little so everyone could hear. I was met with my usual greeting. The same greeting Devil and Fire gave me when I arrived.

"Sup Asshat."

I was surprised to find how incredibly casual his tone was. Like nothing had fucking happened. It was awkward as fuck. I took a deep breath. Thought a moment to remember how our calls used to go. It had been a few months.

"Not much... Fuckface."

Nailed it. I waited for a follow up... but there was nothing. Just a good long moment of silence.

"... Just gonna sit there with a phone to your ear for fun? You called me. What the fuck do you want?"

Oh fuck, right.

"Oh right," I said looking at Navi and Nat a moment to reaffirm why I made this call. I couldn't tell if I was supposed to still be acting casual and shit. So I went with:
"I've been hearing stories."

"Yeah? Anything good?"

Nailed it. I'm so good at phones.

"Oh you know. The usual. Rambling, crazy, and seemingly impossible shit."

Set the line...

"Oh you don't say. Do tell."

And hooked. Nailed it.

"I hear you traded Duckie for Picasso and Moth."

My voice waved a bit when I said traded... I meant to say killed but... Well Fracture doesn't, or didn't, do that. It was a whole thing. He was rather proud of it... I should practice saying he killed Duckie later. Get use to that thought.

"Uh yep."


"... Were just gonna do that all along were you?"

I was curious to know if this was always the plan. Like, that wouldn't make any sense right? This started when Fracture told Moth to kill Picasso because she was being insubordinate. I mean, she was in a loop but there was totally a whole tiff there. If he was just gonna do that the whole time he should have just done it then I would think.

"As soon as I found out Father was involved, yes."

Which was about what I figured. He found out about Father's role in all this puppeting Picasso and giving orders behind his back like... last Month maybe?

"So what was with all the theatrics?"

But there was still no reason he couldn't have just did this the minute he found out Father was involved. There was absolutely no need to wake up Duckie and issue a fresh set of death threats if he was just gonna give us what we wanted.

"I wanted to go out with a bang."

... Typical.

Our casual back and forth proved to be too slow for Nat. 

"Ask about the promotion thing," she impatiently urged me.

Fracture couldn't help himself when he heard her over the phone.

"Hello bitch."

So much... class. So very classy.

"Fuck you. Answer the damn question."

Both of them were....

Why am I writing... like little notes after each thing someone says? ... Huh.

Rereading this, they feel redundant. Like... who is that for?  Is that just like... narcissism? Is it for me from me?

"Be nice Fuckface."

Classy party, baby. It was a classy party. Cool classy party... la la la la.

"Eat a dick Asshat."

Aaaaannnndddd it stopped being fun. So I refocused the conversation.

"The promotion. I'm told I've been promoted."

Nailed it.

"Yes, yes you have."

.... Fuck. Burnt my nailed it on the last note.

"... Why?"

And this, was a great question. I don't know if this reads though or not but me and Fracture don't really get along very well. Hes a fuck face... I'm a bit of an ass hat... but even if we did get along I don't exactly have a reputation for being trustworthy or reliable... hardly the face you want at the head of an organization.

 "In honor of your years of loyalty to both to me and more importantly Father and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're old as fuck. You're the oldest fucking proxy I know. Enjoy it. God knows you've earned it."

... I am rather old in proxy years. Like, David's old but hes a late in life proxy.......

"So he gets your job?"

 I mean, I'm certainly not the only proxy I know that started their gig at 8... but I'm the only one I know that's still alive...

"More or less."

Not that that's actually impressive or something...

"What are we sharing it?"

I mean I can't fight. Never learned how. I've killed some people but thats just because I can aim a gun... assuming they aren't like... moving or something.

"Dear god no. I'm still like, in charge or something. Just, you know, gonna do the proper head CEO thing and not spend any time working. You'll have free reign and Devil and Fire and the cults at your finger tips. I'll look over my little pet projects... get involved as needed."

I've taken some people down with a fire extinguisher but I usually have a team of four other assholes keeping them busy... never expect the guy with the fire extinguisher to know how to swing with it...

"... Why. I don't understand. You hate me... its like a thing. You even went so far as to fucking shoot me as a means to lure us here."

And its not like I ever developed any sort of... powers or some shit in all this time. I mean... I can path... I don't like to though... denizens are scary shit.... once saw one rip a man in two.

[We heard Fracture laugh over the phone for a moment before he appeared beside me. It scared the shit out of Nat and Navi who both rose up in arms. I was kind of use to that kind of thing though. He likes to pop in during phone calls. It loses its novelty. Before they could do anything he was gone again. Nat took the opportunity to give the wall he was standing in front of the finger.]

So in all this time... I never developed any skills... of like any kind.... or abilities... or anything...

"You shoot him again, I will shoot you!"

Really sad when you think about it...

"Oh don't be such a whiny bitch. He looks fine. It'll heal."

... or maybe just pathetic...

"I'm serious. I'll chop Banks' hand off to keep you in one place long enough to do it."

But I guess if nothing else... on some level... it does mean something that I'm still here... impressive in its own right... I dare say I've...

"Nat, Please."

Nailed it. Haha. Long con. I like those.

I offered Nat a hand. I needed to get the conversation back on track. She gave my hand a squeeze. She understood and went quiet again.... or went grumbly again... quiet sounded cooler.

"Fracture, quit changing the subject."

I insisted at him. I knew him... he was using Nat to stall and distract from the question. Stripped away from someone to bounce off of to serve as his distraction... he went quiet... he stayed quiet for like a good five minutes.


I bet these little notes are making this whole things a bitch to read... I feel committed to this now... so I won't be stopping.

"I'm just not feeling it anymore... I founded this... thing... because of the horrible horse shit they put Duckie and others through... And I just shot him in the back of the head as part of trade... as a bargaining chip in a deal like he was a fucking commodity. ... It just feels like its time to do something else."

I knew better. I don't know that Duckie's death really meant that much to him. I mean... he was going to sacrifice Duckie to the Fire anyways... it was coming one way or another... something he had done to many before Duckie and something he would have done to many after Duckie...

Deep down... I think it was the fact that he had killed Duckie himself. Broke his own golden little rule.

"Why not Fire or Devil? Someone competent."

The Fire has been running a successful thriving hunter killer cult for a long time. She's an experienced leader at this point... and Devil was a fucking drug lord before she joined us. She has a strong business sense and has similarly known years of leadership experience...

"Because they would change everything. What the Free Market needs is you. You really believe in what we built. So for better or worse its your problem now. And I figure if you ever hit any snags, you can always throw your Mexican thunder cunt at the problem. You'll be fine."

But Fire is a cold heartless bitch... she would try to make the whole organization more like the Fire cult. All hunting and killing... no protecting or supplying.

And Devil. She would run this place like an actual business... despite the organization's name, the Free Market is a charity. We pour our profits back into anti-cult, pro-proxy, and as of late pro-runner initiatives. She would likely put a stop to all that.

"I'm not /his/."

Growled Nat. She... I had to try to phrase this in a way she'd accept.

"You are my friend right?"

Nailed it.

"Sure. But it's not like you fucking own me or anything."


"I know but its like if I was to say my Goddess. I'm not claiming to own that god. I am just referring to the one I associate myself with."

Your and my are like... possessive terms... but that doesn't have to imply ownership... like... it can be... just a matter of identifying your own self imposed association with a free entity.

"...Fine. I can accept that."

Besides, I think she likes being compared to a Goddess.

"Glad we figured that out. Now fuck off. Let me enjoy my... retirement I guess... Later bitch, whiny bitch, and... was it Navi? Say hi to your brother for me." 

And with that he hung up.

There was a moment of pause. And then a moment of celebration. It was over and we apparently came out insanely ahead.

Navi fucking tackled us. Started shaking us back and forth yelling, "You did it, promotion, you did it, promotion!"

Nat had to shove her off of us. It was all just so... baffling.

It was one thing when Devil and Fire told us before that that's what had happened but it was another thing entirely to know for sure....

And apparently its true. I'm going to be in charge of the Free Market... The Free Market is so fucked.

Seeing as my old job has a position was open... the first thing I did as hire Nat to fill the role. She shares a rank with Devil and Fire now as my second in commands. I've stripped her of her old code name Mantis... her new code name is Goddess. But so help you god if you call her that. She really hates code names. You should probably just call he Nat. In fact, I'm gonna strike that through just to be safe... she might stab me when she reads this...

Sloth out.


  1. So much responsibility.

    I'm not sure if I should congratulate you, or feel bad for you.

    1. ... I lean towards the latter myself.