Hey guys, Sloth here. I had a dream where crazy shit happened, and I went to a place, and other crazy shit happened, and then I had an insane revelation, and then proceeded to devote my life to insane shit for the rest of eternity... in that dream at least... It was pretty wild.
Sloth out.
Hahahahaha.
Just fucking with you.
Its your girl Vallus here, giving that good ol' prayer.
May Father always keep me and Darkness hide me.
May I have never have to look back, for he is surely behind me.
I pray Silence hear me and Obsession Guide me.
Compulsion consume me so they may never find me!
And thus we write.
Amen.
Hehehe. To blog is truly to pray in his name. These words are monuments erected in his glory.
It is the one true exercise of Faith to Father that Masks are denied under their oath and I am loving being able to finally indulge myself in it. Writing truly is a marvelous wonder.
So, I intercepted the laptop so Sloth couldn't write up another one of his incredibly inane dream. I swear, the man does nothing but spew senseless fluff. He... even... writes all his... sentences... like this.
Fluff I say! Fluff!
Feel like there may be some irony in that statement.
I should probably bring up something relevant, eh?
Here's a bombshell.
I killed Sloth and Nat. I'm one of the Smiling man's bride's now. You should have seen the wedding because I sure couldn't. He burned out my eyes.
I'm joking again. I didn't take Smily/Writer up on his deal. I hung out while Sloth and Nat took turns sleeping to make sure I couldn't slit their throats in their sleep. Not that I would have... I'm not quite sufficiently pissed off at them yet.
After Smily attacked we headed back to the shore so we wouldn't be cornered on our own boat anymore and then we stole a car.
That took about two days.
As we were driving, Smily appeared waiting for us in the middle of the street. He dropped hundreds of thorny roses onto the road. Thorns so sharp they actually managed to pop the car tires. And between the tires blowing out and the slippery floor of roses we were driving on, the car spun out of control.
I acted fast and dragged the other two into a Path portal when the car started spinning out. I barely got us in as the car began to flip.
The Path wasn't exactly friendly today though. We were greeted by a rabid pack of denizens, each with 8 horse legs that ran really fucking fast. We were lucky the exit door wasn't far from us. We so narrowly escaped the denizens that Sloth was headbutted out by one of them on his way through the portal. Thank god none of them came through... although I don't think its possible for them to get through... never seen them try... fluff...
We landed in a shack in the middle of nowhere. Nat proceeded to thank me for saving her life by beating the shit out of me. Shes a cunt.
After that we walked to a motel to wash up. We all needed it. In the morning, I assume continue our journey to... I actually have no idea where we're going. To somewhere I guess.
Whatever.
Vallus out.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
Fuck Boats
As Vallus so helpfully shared, we've been on a boat in the middle of the ocean for a while now. I hate boats. They're floating vomit machines, and if it were up to me, I'd never step foot on one ever again. Not that I ever have the luxury of getting my way on such trivial things. No, the boat has been the safest place for us, since it's very hard for anyone to sneak up on us while we're the only thing not ocean in sight in every direction. I'll be honest, even I don't know where we are, beyond 'on a boat'.
Somehow, though, Writer found us. Found me. He covered the railings on the deck in flowers one night a couple days ago. I tried to set them on fire, which wasn't one of my best moves, but to be fucking honest, I'd had just about enough of this bullshit and just wanted to get rid of them in a hurry. He showed up and put the fire out, unfortunately. Smug as always with his stupid little bits of French and his fucking suits and his goddamn flowers.
I stabbed him on sight, but as usual he just laughed it off, this time electing to dump a huge amount of flowers on my head. They came up to my waist and got in my clothes as they fell, which as you might guess, took me a minute to get out of. In the meantime he gave Vallus roses and tried to talk her into killing Sloth and I. I'm still not completely convinced she's not going to, but she insists that she doesn't plan on it.
She talked to him for a moment, then Sloth came out with a net that he then lit on fire and tried to toss over Writer. Instead, due to some fuckery on Writer's part, it hit me instead. I have fucking crosshatch burns on my face and arms from the net, but a bit of aloe and some time should fix them up. Not sure what we're going to do next, but it's clear that we're not safe even in the middle of the ocean.
Somehow, though, Writer found us. Found me. He covered the railings on the deck in flowers one night a couple days ago. I tried to set them on fire, which wasn't one of my best moves, but to be fucking honest, I'd had just about enough of this bullshit and just wanted to get rid of them in a hurry. He showed up and put the fire out, unfortunately. Smug as always with his stupid little bits of French and his fucking suits and his goddamn flowers.
I stabbed him on sight, but as usual he just laughed it off, this time electing to dump a huge amount of flowers on my head. They came up to my waist and got in my clothes as they fell, which as you might guess, took me a minute to get out of. In the meantime he gave Vallus roses and tried to talk her into killing Sloth and I. I'm still not completely convinced she's not going to, but she insists that she doesn't plan on it.
She talked to him for a moment, then Sloth came out with a net that he then lit on fire and tried to toss over Writer. Instead, due to some fuckery on Writer's part, it hit me instead. I have fucking crosshatch burns on my face and arms from the net, but a bit of aloe and some time should fix them up. Not sure what we're going to do next, but it's clear that we're not safe even in the middle of the ocean.
Friday, May 9, 2014
A Fresh Poison Each Week
Woo. Blogger account and a blog. At long last I've joined the immortal ranks of those bold enough to give chorus to Father in his only true form of pray. Compulsion consume me.
My name is Vallus, Miss Vallus. Call Sign Otheos of the now mostly deceased Bravo Squad under the Mask Cult, better know in our own circles as Fracture's near Finest. Second string losers at their finest!
Those seeking an explanation as to why Nat keeps letting Sloth post, its because their conversations go something like this.
Me:
Nat, your account is incredibly uninformative. You left out a lot of shit and embellish like fucking crazy. You make me out to be some fucking nut job and yourself out to be some unstoppable action hero.
Nat:
You want I should get online and spill all our secrets you crazy bitch.
Me:
If you're just gonna lie about what happened why get online to report it at all?!
Sloth:
Calm down you two. I'll go on and set the record straight and explain exactly what happened.
And then the crazy asshole gets online and just starts fucking rambling about his dreams and vampires and demons and... cheese burgers.
Fucking weird. Nat likes to call me weird but those two are fucking weird. You know hes not allowed to so much as touch her with out explicitly acting for permission? Sooooo fucking weird.
So now here I am and I'll fucking explained whats up.
Lets roll back the clock way fucking back on this shit. Not quite to the dawn of time though...
It happened after this post. Sloth gave the Bravo Squad a call and one by one talked us into turning on Fracture.
Jimmy was an easy flip. He hated Fracture. He hated us. He even hated Father. That asshole was mad at the world and was tired of playing second fiddle to Fracture's Finest.
Ms. Jigsaw was a harder sell but he got to her through her pride. Convinced her that no runner or mindless monster or cultist was gonna give her the challenge to her intellect that she craved. That if she wanted that challenge, she would find it facing off with Fracture.
He got at me through my heart strings... He talked at me over the phone. Told me how Fracture would never love me like I wanted him to. How I was on Bravo team so he wouldn't have to deal with me and my affections and attention. That I'd die cold and alone if I kept on this path I was walking...
I was a mask back then. Fracture's idea. I was so eager to do whatever it was he wanted. Never really clicked at the time that what he wanted was for me to go away.
Even as Sloth shoved it in my face to try to flip me I couldn't accept it. I needed to hear it from him.
So, I went to his office.
Fracture:
Fracture:
Vallus! There's my second string mute. Whats up?
Me:
....
Fracture:
Fracture:
*He chuckled to himself and stood up and walked over.* I assume you have a message for me from Bravo or something?
Me:
*When he got close I lifted my mask and kissed him...*
Fracture:
*... which prompted him to shove me away.* What was that?
Me:
Fracture... *I said, my voice breaking. Apparently it does that if you don't use it for a while.*... n-no more games... I love you... p-please stop pushing me away...
Fracture:
... I... I can't do that Otheos. I'm sorry.
Me:
......
Fracture:
Lets just... forget this-
Fracture:
Lets just... forget this-
Me:
Whats her name?
Whats her name?
Fracture:
Don't do that. There isn't anyone else. I'm just not interested. Grow up.
Me:
... Fuck you too.
And then I left.
Me and the rest of Bravo squad dressed up as Navi, Picasso, and Moth. Dying your hair sucks ass by the way.
The only one us that didn't flip was Ralph. Sloth sat there on the phone and talked at him for over and hour but that stubborn ass didn't budge. He was also the only member of the group who wasn't technically a mask. He was our supervising Fire Cultist. A high ranking one two. He could shoot fire balls and everything. A very rare and well sought after ability amongst their ranks. Which meant he could talk... or rather was allowed to talk. Although he rarely did. Happened when you work with all mutes.
He tried to convince us to stay but... we had already made up our minds. In hindsight we were lucky her didn't immediately go to Fracture and out us all then and then. I almost feel bad outing him over that but he really should have just went with us.
Anyways, after we left we met up with Picasso and her group and took up the path they were taking while they went else where to better cover their tracks as Sloth had requested of us.
We eventually cornered ourselves and trapped ourselves in a loop. Jimminy Cricket went crazy and we had to put him down. My best friend Jigsaw snapped under the pressure of our impending door. Only reason I made it out was the farm girl we had kidnapped. We found a chick who, like Picasso and Navi, was a natural Redhead. We were gonna use her as a sacrificial lamb to confuse Fracture's goons when they closed in on us.
And that's kind of what happened. I left her behind, tied up in the loop and managed to finally escape before Fracture and his Fire Cult goons fire bombed the loop.
That poor runner girl... I can't remember her name.... started with a I. She died so that I could make a clean escape.
Then that Fucker Fracture had the gull to bad mouth me on his fucking blog.
After all that I called up Sloth to let him know I was alive and to cuss him out for trying to send me to my death. He insisted that wasn't his intent and arranged for us to meet up at Fracture's office in Disney College at the Disney Resort in California.
FYI, that place is calling with proxies.
But Fracture's office was a safe place to hide out because he never uses it. He keeps to his precious compound. What got us in trouble was Sloth. He used the badge Fracture had given all back when to get in. Naturally, Sloth's badge number was being monitored for by the computer and was probably flagged. I'm assuming that's why we got hit with a helicopter attack.
And attack that went much worse for us than Nat let on. Poor Sloth took a bullet in the arm shoving Nat out of the way of a shot. If it hadn't been for all those decorative trees we'd be fucking dead.
Once we escaped we ducked into a parking complex in Los Angeles proper where I performed some home surgery to get the bullet out of Sloth's arm so he could use it probably and not eventually die of led poisoning. Hes really fucking lucky she was using a low caliber suppressed sniper rifle or he could have very well lost his whole fucking arm.
So after driving around aimlessly for a while, we stole a boat. Now we're sailing. Good luck finding us in the Pacific Fracture. Fuck you fuck face.
~Vallus
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Cheese Burger
I had another Dream.
I was riding around with the Demon.
I knew he was the demon. I could see it when he looked at me in the way that he looked at me... wide brazen eyes. Whenever I saw those eyes I knew that they knew. I did not know that it is that I knew that they knew. That wasn't the important part. That wasn't the... horrifying part. No. I didn't need to know what it was. Just knowing that they KNEW whatever it is that they knew was enough to fill my heart with terror.
I could see the sun out. But it was night. It wasn't the sun. I just thought of the light as sun light because whatever the light actually was was making it look like it was dawn out. But it wasn't. When you actually checked for it. There was no sun... just endless dusk on a nameless night.
The Demon drove me around for quite a while. We were running errands but we were driving so very far away for these errands. I remember trees and fences and fields as I stared out the side window away from the beast wishing I was somewhere else.
But my eyes did wonder. I turned away from the dusk shaded fields to my right to find it was night through the front window. Just black out. Whatever that light was, it wasn't touching the things right in front of us. Or so I thought. When I turned back toward where the dusk was it was gone. As were the fields and and the fences and the trees. No more dusk laden meadows. We were in a dark place now, surrounded by red buildings with red sidewalks and black roads. Black Lamp posts shining red lights down on the world were the only source of light here.
... that and a single massive sign just to the left of the car we were in.
I leaned back to get a good look at where we were.
McDonalds, in all its proper colors. The building and the sign weren't a crimson red like everything else. It was a little slice of reality in this horrid poorly lit world.
"I want a cheese burger," said the Demon.
I froze when he stop and then turned to give him a funny look.
His gentle knowing demeanor quickly changed into something more impatient and frustrated.
"I said... I. Want. A. Cheese. Burger... get to it."
I looked up at the building again and then back to the demon before taking a deep breath and getting out of the car.
'I can do this. Just a cheese burger. Easy.'
So I walked over to the door and opened up... took a step in.
The lighting was wrong. Most McDonalds are well lit and inviting. This place had nothing but florencent over head lights hanging down a foot from the ceiling, all of which lacked covers so you could could see the tubes making the lights. There weren't enough of them across the store's floor. They were just over tables. The areas between tables where notable less lit... like a poker room I guess?
There were five people in this store. All of them black and brown. Mostly short hair with visible scars and odd markings. Not tattoos but... almost recognizable faces and shapes pressed into their flesh... brandings maybe. Two of them where in the McDonalds outfits. All of them where grathered around one of the round tables close to the clerks counter and the cash register.
When they saw me, one of the ones in the employee outfit jumped on the table and bared their teeth... their long toothy fangs...
"MEAT!" he declared pointing at me as the other four people from around the table stood, the four of them presenting their own fangs in turn.
I pressed against the door and tried to get it open but it wouldn't budge. The one on the table dropped down and started walking toward me, the other four following close behind me. I put my hand up in front of my face. It was all I could think to do in my panic... when I fell the door I was pushing on suddenly give and then stop.
I opened my eyes to find the Demon had opened the door. He pushed me back out and stood between me and the creatures in a commanding stance. "This ones mine."
The five creatures all hissed and clawed at nothing in the air like beasts before backing up and returning to their table.
The Demon directed me back to the car.
I hesitantly climbed in... still very rattled from what I had just seen.
"Wh-What the fuck was that."
"Vampires."
"... What?" I looked at him funny. Like somehow vampires were a stretch when I knew I was talking to a demon.
"Beings that feed on great emotion," he said with a grin before looking back at the road and driving off.
He never got that cheese burger... but I knew that wasn't the point of that stop.
As we I leaned back in my seat and basked in the sweet glow of this fake dusk, I knew one thing. Wherever it was this car was taking me didn't matter. Nor did I need to worry about what we were doing... why we were doing it... nor did it matter that I was of doing whatever it was I was doing with the Demon.
I was his. And that's why we stopped there.
So he could show me... it didn't matter what he sent me to do or where he took me... because he was there...
Regardless of what happens at each stop, hes always going to be there.
I just need to accept his choices... take his orders... and try to enjoy the ride.
Sloth Out
I was riding around with the Demon.
I knew he was the demon. I could see it when he looked at me in the way that he looked at me... wide brazen eyes. Whenever I saw those eyes I knew that they knew. I did not know that it is that I knew that they knew. That wasn't the important part. That wasn't the... horrifying part. No. I didn't need to know what it was. Just knowing that they KNEW whatever it is that they knew was enough to fill my heart with terror.
I could see the sun out. But it was night. It wasn't the sun. I just thought of the light as sun light because whatever the light actually was was making it look like it was dawn out. But it wasn't. When you actually checked for it. There was no sun... just endless dusk on a nameless night.
The Demon drove me around for quite a while. We were running errands but we were driving so very far away for these errands. I remember trees and fences and fields as I stared out the side window away from the beast wishing I was somewhere else.
But my eyes did wonder. I turned away from the dusk shaded fields to my right to find it was night through the front window. Just black out. Whatever that light was, it wasn't touching the things right in front of us. Or so I thought. When I turned back toward where the dusk was it was gone. As were the fields and and the fences and the trees. No more dusk laden meadows. We were in a dark place now, surrounded by red buildings with red sidewalks and black roads. Black Lamp posts shining red lights down on the world were the only source of light here.
... that and a single massive sign just to the left of the car we were in.
I leaned back to get a good look at where we were.
McDonalds, in all its proper colors. The building and the sign weren't a crimson red like everything else. It was a little slice of reality in this horrid poorly lit world.
"I want a cheese burger," said the Demon.
I froze when he stop and then turned to give him a funny look.
His gentle knowing demeanor quickly changed into something more impatient and frustrated.
"I said... I. Want. A. Cheese. Burger... get to it."
I looked up at the building again and then back to the demon before taking a deep breath and getting out of the car.
'I can do this. Just a cheese burger. Easy.'
So I walked over to the door and opened up... took a step in.
The lighting was wrong. Most McDonalds are well lit and inviting. This place had nothing but florencent over head lights hanging down a foot from the ceiling, all of which lacked covers so you could could see the tubes making the lights. There weren't enough of them across the store's floor. They were just over tables. The areas between tables where notable less lit... like a poker room I guess?
There were five people in this store. All of them black and brown. Mostly short hair with visible scars and odd markings. Not tattoos but... almost recognizable faces and shapes pressed into their flesh... brandings maybe. Two of them where in the McDonalds outfits. All of them where grathered around one of the round tables close to the clerks counter and the cash register.
When they saw me, one of the ones in the employee outfit jumped on the table and bared their teeth... their long toothy fangs...
"MEAT!" he declared pointing at me as the other four people from around the table stood, the four of them presenting their own fangs in turn.
I pressed against the door and tried to get it open but it wouldn't budge. The one on the table dropped down and started walking toward me, the other four following close behind me. I put my hand up in front of my face. It was all I could think to do in my panic... when I fell the door I was pushing on suddenly give and then stop.
I opened my eyes to find the Demon had opened the door. He pushed me back out and stood between me and the creatures in a commanding stance. "This ones mine."
The five creatures all hissed and clawed at nothing in the air like beasts before backing up and returning to their table.
The Demon directed me back to the car.
I hesitantly climbed in... still very rattled from what I had just seen.
"Wh-What the fuck was that."
"Vampires."
"... What?" I looked at him funny. Like somehow vampires were a stretch when I knew I was talking to a demon.
"Beings that feed on great emotion," he said with a grin before looking back at the road and driving off.
He never got that cheese burger... but I knew that wasn't the point of that stop.
As we I leaned back in my seat and basked in the sweet glow of this fake dusk, I knew one thing. Wherever it was this car was taking me didn't matter. Nor did I need to worry about what we were doing... why we were doing it... nor did it matter that I was of doing whatever it was I was doing with the Demon.
I was his. And that's why we stopped there.
So he could show me... it didn't matter what he sent me to do or where he took me... because he was there...
Regardless of what happens at each stop, hes always going to be there.
I just need to accept his choices... take his orders... and try to enjoy the ride.
Sloth Out
Friday, May 2, 2014
Disney Land Fucking Sucked
Shit just gets fucking weirder and weirder the more I get roped into things. Our most recent bit of absurdity was literally a trip to fucking Disney Land. Apparently one of Sloth's friends was fucking hiding out there. I don't get it either, don't fucking ask me, the bitch is very odd. She's spent the time since we picked her up alternately screaming at us, being almost suicidally depressed, and being perfectly fine. It's tiring.
Anyway, Sloth said his friend, another rebellious proxy type, was hiding out in this one building in Disney Land. Thankfully we didn't have to pay to get in, he knew a back way so we didn't have to deal with all of the creepy people in animal suits and snotty children and crap. What we did have to deal with, however, was the bitch going nuts on us and threatening Sloth when we got up there to save her ass. Stupid bitch thought that he'd tricked her and her friends into deadly situations as a mole for Fracture. Like he'd betray anyone for that piece of shit asshole.
We didn't really get a chance to talk her down before a fucking HELICOPTER showed up with a sniper trying to shoot us. Seriously. A fucking helicopter. Fracture must be running scared because that was the biggest fucking overkill I've seen in a long time. Also, that sniper was shit at their job because we're all just fine. I guess Vallus decided we weren't trying to get her killed after I saved her life. Which is good because otherwise I might've thrown her back out of raw frustration.
In any event, Fracture loses again, we're all fine, and even fuckface is going to have a damn hard time getting to us for a while. So in conclusion, fuck you. Seriously.
Anyway, Sloth said his friend, another rebellious proxy type, was hiding out in this one building in Disney Land. Thankfully we didn't have to pay to get in, he knew a back way so we didn't have to deal with all of the creepy people in animal suits and snotty children and crap. What we did have to deal with, however, was the bitch going nuts on us and threatening Sloth when we got up there to save her ass. Stupid bitch thought that he'd tricked her and her friends into deadly situations as a mole for Fracture. Like he'd betray anyone for that piece of shit asshole.
We didn't really get a chance to talk her down before a fucking HELICOPTER showed up with a sniper trying to shoot us. Seriously. A fucking helicopter. Fracture must be running scared because that was the biggest fucking overkill I've seen in a long time. Also, that sniper was shit at their job because we're all just fine. I guess Vallus decided we weren't trying to get her killed after I saved her life. Which is good because otherwise I might've thrown her back out of raw frustration.
In any event, Fracture loses again, we're all fine, and even fuckface is going to have a damn hard time getting to us for a while. So in conclusion, fuck you. Seriously.
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