Love

I had a Dream about a child and it's Mother.

They were on a stone walk way. A side walk maybe. It was a dirty place. They themselves were ratty and filthy, dressed in outfits that were either hand-me-downs or thrift shop purchases.

The mother looked so tired. She marched down the street determined to get home but given her state she could have found rest just as easily in the middle of the street as she could her house. From a glance you might notice her bruises and the finger marks in her skin and figure she was worn down from an unpleasant domestic situation. If you took a minute to talk to her, you would probably assume it was work that had her so spent given the various complaints about it she was willing to give to any ear she could find willing to pay her any mind.

And if you stopped to watch her for a while and realized she dragged that child along everywhere she went, you'd probably realize that its a great many things that has her so down. A man, if she even has one, seems to be the least of them.

And I watched them for a while. They were an oddity. Before I realized it I wasn't watching them anymore.

I was looking up at my Mother as she dragged me around from place to place.

'Other people are so tall,' I lamented to myself. 'Wish I could be tall'

I couldn't remember a time where I had ever saw someone short like me. Just my mother and the blur of normal people we passed by as she took me from place to place. They never had people like me with them. No one to drag around. I must look so odd.

I wanted to ask why I was the only short one here but I didn't feel like getting thrown against the wall today so I kept to the rules and didn't talk.

Hate those stupid rules.

But I saw something as we passed an alley... made me stop which made my Mother stop in turn. I had never done that before. She looked at me with a confused look before following my eyes down the alleyway until she saw what I saw.

A body. The body of a small girl, another little person like me. There are others...

"Oh. Poor child."

I bit my lip a moment before finally venturing to talk. "Ch-... Child?"

"Yeah... like you. A kid."

"A little person..."

"Yeah I guess. Not like you won't be as tall as me when you're my age. In fact, you'll probably be taller."

I was in a world of wonders. There are others. And we change. One day, we get tall!

"Me and her will be tall one day?" I asked so I could be sure I was understanding right.

"You will. She won't. She won't ever do anything ever again. She isn't alive anymore."

"... Alive...?"

She rose an eyebrow in confusion at my question. "Yeah. You know what that is right? You can't possibly be this dumb."

What... is alive. I'm alive I guess? If I give her life, can she do things again?

"What does it mean to... 'be alive'?"

Mother stared at me for a good long while, as if it was somehow inconceivable that I didn't know.

'How would I?' I thought to myself. No one had ever yelled it at me in the street in passing trying to get me to move. Where else was I supposed to learn?

It felt bad. Like maybe, something was wrong with me. 'Why don't I know the things I'm supposed to know?' I wondered to myself as she stared at me bewildered by my ignorance.

"Well... let me show you," she said as she pulled out a thin metal object. "I want you to focus on this sensation," she told me as she slit my throat.

I tried to scream in pain but there was no sound anymore. I started to feel heavy. God it hurt so bad. I fell to my knees, my brain racing trying to comprehend what had just happened. Trying to sift through the rush of agony and the surge of adrenaline.

I reached out toward my Mother as my vision blurred. I cried out for her in a hoarse voice but barely any sound made it out.

Wh-What was happening? How do I make it stop?

Oh my god, the red stuff is coming out! I can't get it go back in. Its everywhere!

"That rush. That's life. And sensation of loss. That's life. That confusion and desperation in the face of a hopeless situation. That is life. That pain, that inescapable all consuming pain as everything gets taken from you slowly turning the world into an incomprehensible blur of misshapen monsters, THAT IS LIFE. I have done everything I can to keep you from that. So you'd be safe... but real love means keeping you safe from all pain for good."

I felt something grab my hair and lift me up. I tried to yell out in pain but I instead spit up blood as that metal implement got forced into my chest over and over again before Mother finally let go of me once more. I crumpled over onto the floor. I couldn't move and everything felt so cold.

"Remember that Mommy loves you. That's why she saved you like this. You'll be forever safe, right here with mommy. No more pain, ever.... can you hear me? I love you."

But I was gone by then. No more thoughts. No more sensation. Just darkness. Just the infinite black void. A place where I was nothing... but I was safe as nothing.